Published on July 15th, 2007 5:10 am EST

poker rock starsBack in the 80's, even teenage boy wanted to be David Lee Roth. The money, the girls, the cool life, the fancy car, the expensive jewelry, the television time. In the year 2007, poker players are the new rock stars. Forget about wanting to be Justin Timberlake; ask almost anyone that is young and doesn't have a vagina and they would tell you that they would much rather be Phil Ivey. Poker players are the rock stars of the 21st century.

Let's look at the checklist:

Money - check. Sure there are broke degenerates out there, and lots of them, but the top poker players are all ballin' at a tremendous clip. The net worth of players like Phil Ivey and Barry Greenstein? Massive. Even if you take a step down and look at the top online players, you have at least a 100 with a net worth of over a million dollars. Not bad for sitting at your computer.

Cool life - you can't really beat living in Vegas for two months in a house that looks like a castle, driving to the Rio for your $2k buyin tournament in your rented Benz, and then getting stoned when you get home and winning $40k online. That's a pretty cool life if you ask me.

Jewelry - you seen the bling that Ivey, Antonius and Mizzi are sporting?

The Girls - in typical rock star style, you got ugly guys that are good at poker pulling down ridiculous girls that they would have no chance of getting if they were an insurance broker. Plus, you got groupies in poker too (see Brandi Hawbaker)

The Fancy Car - Check out the rides of Ivey, Antonius, Ozzy87 (online) or MuckEmSayUhhh (online). Sick.

The TV Time - make a final table at the World Series of Poker and you'll get your face seen by millions of people on ESPN, no matter how ugly or unattractive you may be.

And lastly, as a successful poker player living the life of a rock star, you will have fans. Thousands of them. Make a final table online? You will have hundreds of people railing you and posting about it on Everyone that beats you in a hand will be a donk, and when you beat someone, you will outplay them, according to your fans. You won't suck out anymore; you'll outplay your opponent using your ninth level thinking.

Hopefully though, you'll avoid some of the intertwining downsides of both being a poker player and a rock star (crippling drug addictions *Vinny Vinh cough*, blowing all your money *Brad Booth cough*, or just fading into obscurity *Chris Moneymaker*).

Gobboboy has as many fans as Jon Bon Jovi has now. Like I said.. poker players are the rock stars of the 21st century.


Filed Under: Miscellaneous King Articles

Related Articles